Balance

I have been pondering balance today. I am not sure how to obtain that in my life. (In some ways I like numbers, so bare with me.) What percentage of my time should be spent in each area God, family, self, and other? I did not include job because right now that falls under family for me. If I knew how many hours a day to devote to each aspect I might not feel guilty when I spend time on other things. In all things my time is devoted to my God and church, but while my heart is turned to them, I know other things are important, too. If I tithed each day and spent 10% of my day devoted to scripture study, kneeling in prayer, church assignments and meetings, etc. that would be 2 hours and 40 minutes. UNLESS, it is only waking hours, then it would be a little less than 2 hours. That's not bad. But, how do I spend the other 21 hours and 20 minutes or 16 hours. I could break it down to 10% of my month and that would be about 3 days a month for activities specific to my calling and God. Yep, I am over thinking. I need to somehow find balance. How do you find balance?

Hot

It is not that I want time to go faster. I really don't. But, I tend to look forward to things. Right now it is the fall. I am yearning for the fall. There are several reasons for this:
*It is my favorite season. 
*I love the crunching of leaves.
*I enjoy the beginning of school. I loved that time growing up.
*School shopping. Yay!


On a more cynical note:
*I really, really, really don't like being hot.
*I dislike dreading our electric bill because the temperature has been 110 degrees +. For May it was $250 and I am terrified how July will be. (We even keep our thermostat @ 80 degrees.)
*I don't like not being able to be outside. With heat advisories almost daily we are getting cabin fever.
*Cooking is almost literally torture.
*Ambition is lacking.


People dread the winter in the Northern states because it never seems to end. Here, I dread the summer for the same reason. I was not cut out to be a Nevadan. This could be our last summer here. I am sad for that, but seriously, this I won't miss.

Personal progress folders

There are going to be a lot of similar posts to this because I will be making about 20 of these. I wanted to chronicle them, so bare with me.

For my Hannah Banana whose favorite color is yellow.

 I am so excited to give this to her in July!

 Natalia's is more subtle, but still cute.

 I am proud of how these reflect the personality of the girl.

 Kayla loves puppies:

 Her mother insisted that I use the fabric I did. I am just worried that when she is a Laurel she will be less than thrilled. She is a brand new beehive.

I hope to finish 2-3 of these a week for the rest of the summer so I can have them ready as things get more hectic in my life. I have all the materials, just need the time.

Thoughts on camp

Yesterday I posted pictures from my Girls Camp. I realize that they don't mean much to anyone that reads this but myself. The love of those girls, the inside jokes, etc. are all very personal and there is no way to convey that. But, I feel so very blessed to be entrusted with them. 


The night before I went up I had my husband give me a blessing. I love my calling very much, but I was very unsure. I put together amazing binders for the leaders. They had everything they would need like directions to the cabins, permission slips/insurance info, day by day guide including recipes and event instructions, schedule, general conference talks relating to activities, etc. I completed these on Sunday and gave them out. My job was done. I couldn't imagine what more I had to offer. I was nervous to be responsible and an example to 16 girls. The blessing put me at ease and I traveled up.


I rode with the bishop to and from the hike and then home. It was great to get to know him better. He is an amazing man. But, on the way home from the hike he was very quiet. I seriously felt like a 13 year old girl again and that I was in trouble. (Looking back I am pretty sure he is an introvert like me and was just done.) It was an interesting feeling and it lasted into the next day. Bishop Wells is not much older than me. He laughed and told me I was not a 13 year old girl and I was being silly.


I don't remember much about any of my Girls camps as a young woman. This week bits and pieces came to me, but nothing big. I have loved being a leader and doing this. This is my second year at camp. It teaches me every time and humbles me. I am not confident in myself. That is obvious. On the way home my bishop said, "Heidi, there are many places you would be good, but you are supposed to be with the young women." So, I will do my best and pray it is everything that is needed of me.

Young Women's Camp

Tropicana Ward YW camp 2012

Shoot for the Stars

Doctrine and Covenants 50:24

It was a long week full of ups and downs. I slept very little, ate very little and had a great time. This was our first year not doing a stake camp and it was hectic and a lot of planning. Here are some highlights.

On the way up to Strawberry Point, Utah:

 At this point I lost my camera. I prayed and prayed. I looked and looked. It was found just before our service project...
We tied lap quilts for the local hospital.

 Mario and Luigi (aka Hannah and Rachel)

 "The hills are alive with the sound of music." I was seriously singing that in this picture. We were checking out the huge meadow to see if we could do night games in it.

 The 3 leaders staying in the "fun cabin", me, Melissa and Ella. Ella tie dyed the shirts and Melissa's has a swirl right over her baby boy. ;)

 Finding out I had never done a mirror portrait one of my young women educated me.

 "High Five buddies", we actually did three like in The Hunger Games. (The purpose is that you have a buddy and you high five until everyone is there.) She also did my hair to match hers for our hike.

 Ponderosa pines are supposed to smell like vanilla, strawberry or chocolate. The leaders all thought it smelled like butterscotch and the girls said vanilla. Ella said a bit of both:

 My 16 beauties ages 12-16
L to R Rebecca, Hannah, Natalia, Kayla, Ashley S., Samantha, Desiree, Margie, Makayla, Kirstie, Chelsea, Emmalie, Ashley E., Carrissa, Rachel and McKenna

 Peek-a-boo. Ella was one of my young women and our babysitter until she went away to SUU for school last year. It was fun to hang out with her this week.

 Sleeping beauties. Desiree (on the left) was the girl I gave secret sister gifts to.

 Kirstie is a master at friendship bracelets and made this one out of a rope it was for a giant.

 I wore the bracelet in different spots for the rest of the day. This is the favorite spot because I looked like "Heidi of the mountains".

 In honor of this being 100 years of Girls Camp we did 100 acts of service and put a star in a jar for each one. (Our theme was Shoot for the Stars.) There is actually 130 stars in there.

 Our fearless leaders Sister Tyler and Bishop Wells.

We got home early evening on Saturday. I am still tired from it all. I am grateful I went, but not sure if anyone else got anything from me being there.

Sewing with Kids

Anneke got a sewing machine last October. She was so excited. Unfortunately it does not have a bobbin thread so everything she made would fall apart. Seriously, who designed that? She has been asking and asking to sew something on my machine. On Saturday as I gathered last minute supplies for camp we found some fun bandanas at Hobby Lobby. Anneke chose a Disney princess one and a plain light blue.

This morning we sewed them together and made her a bag. Well, she did and I supervised so she didn't sew her finger.

 (Marcus took these pictures.)

 The finished product. It took 20-30 minutes. She promptly put all her books in it to go to the library.

This should probably be on the kids blog. Oops.


Luke got a Cars bandana on Saturday and now wants to make a bag, too.

Control

During the course of several conversations lately, I have come to the conclusion that I have OCD, not just Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but the less commonly known Obsessive Controlling Disorder. I have to be in control at all times. Mostly, of myself, but it can extend beyond me, too. I try to let things go, but well, it's hard. I have such a need for control that I don't let myself throw up, get sick, have my period at bad times, sleep longer than I should, etc. There are times when my body rebels against these things, but for the most part I am pretty successful. I don't like being spontaneous, because I then lack control. I don't like being off schedule... again the control thing. I don't like change for the same reason. I am not sure why I have the need for control. That is still in the pondering phase.


I have to consciously relinquish control to my children or it makes me overly frustrated. Yep, I even control the giving up of control. I have to know in advance my children are going to help me cook, clean, or make something. I have to know things in advance or I become overwhelmed and anxious. In college I had to plan on missing class, I couldn't just not go. Is that really playing hooky then? Sheesh. My psyche is messed up.


I am still exploring this and writing it out brought some insight. Anything you feel should be added?

Pinterest

I really enjoy pinterest. It took me a while to figure it out. Now that I have, I use it everyday for recipes and projects especially. There are some things that bug me about it, though. Top of the list is commenting on a pin by someone you don't know. Okay, it only bugs me when I am the someone they don't know. Settle in, here is the story.


I wake up each morning pray and then study my scriptures. This works really well for me and sets  a nice tone for my day. By the time I am finished (about 1/2 an hour) my kids come in and snuggle or elbow us out of the bed. The time I set aside for exercising has been taken up by other worthy pursuits. I am trying to figure out what to do, how to do it and find the will power and motivation to get it done. I know that I am unhappy with my lifestyle and want to feel healthy and better. To help me I pinned a quote to think about. Someone I didn't know commented with "maybe to be in good health??" and it really rankled. She doesn't know me. She doesn't know my motivation or my life. She doesn't know my struggles. She just knows I pinned a quote. Why do it? Why say it? What was her motivation? My husband then commented on the pin, which made me smile. It is silly that it effected me so much and I can't get it out of my head. I know that. But, this is for my me-ness and this is very much about me. ;)


Moral of the story, think before you act. Words have power.

Upcycled shirt

About 1 1/2 years ago someone gave me some old clothes. Basically hand me downs for me. I selected a few that I liked and gave the rest to the DI. I loved a certain shirt, but it had an elastic bottom and just sat in my drawer. I was going to donate it, but thought it would make a cute dress for Mallory. Well, with careful coaching by an amazing seamstress look what I made. (I really wish I had taken a before picture.)

 She is wearing my church shoes, too. It completes the ensemble.

 This one is just because she is cute and was posing. I am not sure where she learned it, but she is saying, "cheese".

Scumble

I am probably going to put a few book reviews on here. Not a lot, but when I feel like it. Especially if I really enjoy the book and want others to know.


I read Savvy and Scumble by Ingrid Law this month. Marcus read them. One of the parents (or a trusted adult) reads what he reads to make sure it is appropriate. (I actually remember what I read, though, while my husband does not.) Both my husband and I read these within a week of each other.


The premise for both stories is that in some families on their 13th birthday children get a special talent. They call it a savvy. These talents can be big things like controlling weather or electricity or smaller things like sneezing and going back in time 5 minutes. Each child needs to learn to control or "scumble" their savvy. Both books are coming of age stories in a way. Stories of discovering who you are. Savvy is from a 13 year old girl's point of view and Scumble is a 13 year old boy.


Savvy was a very sweet story. I was surprised and afraid it would be too much like The Girl Who Could Fly, but it wasn't. I loved the underlying message and the realizations that could apply to anyone. I want to reread it soon and retain the quotes and feeling from it.


I was trying to read Scumble slowly so I could take it with me to Young Women's camp. It was too fun. I really enjoyed it. Many people were disappointed with the Savvy follow up and I am not sure why. I love that our family now uses words like "savvy" and "scumble" and not many people know what we mean. I think my savvy would be something with baking or organizing.


*On a side note - some of our young women asked to bring books to school. I was selected to okay them. Can I tell you how nervous this made me? Books are so personal. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what the girls were reading and if it was trash it would make me so sad. Books were due yesterday. I knew each one and was VERY impressed. One girl said, "I went through my books to make sure they were okay for Girls Camp. I wanted to make sure I could bring what I selected." They had taken responsibility which meant I didn't have to. I am grateful for the amazing girls I get to teach.